As my earlier post say," Illiteracy is the root cause of all devils in our community"
I would further like to pen down that, Dowry, Honour Killing, Same Gotra Marriage, Mis - Match Marriage, Generation Gap, Superstitions, Ego etc. are the branches of this tree called devil.
And Communication Gap is its stem..!!
Its not that illiterate people do not have moral values. Infact our fore fathers who were mainly illiterate, had highest moral & social values..!! So what went wrong and where..??
I believe the answer is that, we are not open to discuss our personal matters with our parents and vice versa. Or in simple words - COMMUNICATION GAP. Here the first duty is of the parents to ease the atmosphere at home.
I have heard," when your shoe fits in your son's foot, treat him like your friend."
Perfect..!!
But, I go beyond this. Why wait for the shoe to fit in our children's feet? Being a father of a 13 yrs old son & 10 yrs old daughter, I am very easy & friendly with my kids. I want to be their best friend. I want them to discuss every problem directly with me. I want to know their likes & dislikes. I want to be there when they need me most. And I am successful..!!
I have observed that when we give liberty to our children ( ofcourse to a deserving limit ), our children become more sensible and sincere. They do not need to hide and lie to their parents.
A child who fears of being scolded and beaten by his parents have all the possibilities of doing wrong. And on the contrary, a child who is friend to his parents will never go or do wrong for the fear of his loyality, faith and sincerety towards his parents.
A single person can bring change in his family only. But he can not do much for his community. Even 2-4-10 of us also can not make much difference. But 20 - 40 - and 100's of us can make a big difference. A big positive difference..!!
First need of the hour is to educate ourselves instead of educating others. It does not matter we are literate or not. A good understanding with our children plus faith and confidence on them plus a healthy conversation in between can never spoil our children and the community as well.
sir i fully agreed with u ......................................infact what u hv said i would hv said the same on that issue.......................i also thinks that if parents nd children hv good communication ............children will never hide anything frm their parents.................instead they would share their personnal issues with them......................infact i hv seen where there is communication gap between parents nd children........................those children are prone to do all such acts which their parents dont like or support ............i guess fear of their parents hv a negative inpact on them
ReplyDeleteSir, i also agree with the words presented by you on this platform.
ReplyDeleteHere also the same problem is following us people.
our comunity people , mostly are concerned about others house instead of their own..
if something goes wrong in others, they feel happiness .
A person who has 7 childrens , instead of being putting concern on his child, he will worry about others .
as you and we have understand that literacy is the backbone of every community and for its development it is essential . No one in the present world which is so competitive can
survive without being literate.
but here other problem is economic position of our community people.
till now i have heard that delhi based gurjars are well settled and has good income,
but the case is not so in rajasthan.
every time we talk about literacy, but sir as you know that you are a educated person and employed in a good concern and your family background in my opinion will be sound., you can put concern on your child and can educate your childrens in a nice environment.
But the person who has got 2-3 buffaloes and its main earning is through this work, he is concerned about his livestock and will not put any attention on his child.After being coming from the school he will engage the child in caring his livestock.
at what time the child will put his concentration over the studies.
and if by every efforts he will educate his child he will not be able to complete his/her studies because in present ,education is too costly.
so it is my opinion that firstly the economic position of the gurjar community should be energised.
In rajasthan , where 1% reservation has been given will be effective for those only who have got good education and their parents can spent a good amount on them.
what about others who are not in this position.
have we people think about those persons.
are you not concerned about their personal lives.
what is the solution to this main problem , can you suggest .
If sir you have some idea please share it with me , otherwise idea will be provided from my side which could be flourished in the gurjar community barren lands.
Have a happy life and will put my answer to you soon.
narendra gurjar
kota,rajasthan
Dear sir, u r 100% right..
ReplyDeleteBut the GAP between Parents & children is a true ..
we can see in society..so many father is not always right..some time he can not understands any problem of child...he always forced to do something ..but in TIME-FRAME that work may be not practical...important thing is ...Parents should harmonized with children with present TIME-FRAME..
COMMUNICATION GAP is also a characteristic of GURJAR Community... it can be illuminated by EDUCATION only..
========================
SURENDRA SINGH GURJAR
Research scholar (Geoamtics Engg.)
Deptt. of Civil Engg.
IIT-ROORKEE
Mob- 09452858301
mail- surendra.geomatics@gmail.com
this time i m fully agree with u sheel sir...
ReplyDeletei m fully agree with u sir
ReplyDeletedowry is a ghost which enters in gujjars caste nobody knows when this ghost die
ReplyDeleteJAI HIND JANAB....
ReplyDeleteWATS DIS?????????SEE M AGAIN FULLY AGREE WID U N OFFCRSE HIGHLY IMPRESSED WID UR IDEAS ON THIS VERY NEW BUT CRUCIAL TOPIC...
AS USUAL,U HAV ONCE AGAIN CALLED ALL OF US TO COME FORWARD N THINK ABT THESE ISSUES....AGAIN I HAV NOTHNG TO ADD NOT TO DEDUCT FROM UR LINES.....BUT WANNA SHARE SOME OF MA VIEWS,,BRO...U R ABSOLUTELY RIGHT DAT COMMINICATION IS D BIGGEST HINDRANCE IS OUR WAY TO SUCCESS..ALL THESE PROBLMS R INTERCONNECTED BRO..WE HAV TO DO SOMTHNG TO PULL OUT OUR COMMUNITY N HENCE SOCIETY,FROM THIS HELL BRO..
STARTING WID D BIGGEST PROBLM-DOWRY...I FEEL DAT MARRIAGE WID DOWRY IS JUST LIKE A BUSINESS DEAL.....WHER THER IS NO SHARING OF FEELINGS N VIEWS....N AS WE KNOW DAT MARRIAGES R NOT FOR SOME DAYS OR MONTHS....THESE R FOREVER N EVER....SOME TIMES WHEN BOY N GIRL UNDERSTNAD EACH OTHER,THEY R UNABLE TO MEET JUST COZ OF DOWRY PROBLM,RAISED BY THEIR PARENTS...ALSO,DOWRY IS MORE INSULTING THAN THIS HONOUR KILLING,ITS MY PERONAL VIEW BRO,PLZ DON GET HURT,
SPECIALLY,IN OUR GURJAR COMMUNITY,PEOPLE THINK THEIR SOCIAL STATUS ENHANCES WID DOWRY...N THEY BOAST DAT THEY R LITRATE N MORALLY GOOD..BUT THEY NVR THNK THEY R IMPOSING EXTRA PRESSURE N TENSION ON GIRL'S FAMILY.PERSONALLY SPEAKING,PEOPLE MISS BETTER MATCHES JUST COZ OF DOWRY...
SOME OF OUR FRNDS SAY GIRLS NVR THINK ABT THEIR PARENTS...BUT BRO SOMETIMES GIRLS GO FOR LOVE MARRIAGE JUST COZ OF THIS DOWRY PROBLM,,,,THEY THINK THEY CAN HELP A BIT THEIR FAMILIES BY DOING SO,NO MATTER WAT COST THEY MIGHT HAV TO PAY FOR THIS....MANY OF MA FRNDS,BOTH BOYS N GIRLS HAV SHARED SAME VIEWS WID ME..
I THINK BRO,,,IF WE CUD DO SOMTHNG TO ERADICATE THIS PROBLM,MANY OF OTHER PROBLMS WILL AUTOMATICALLY COME TO N END.....
ALSO,ITS EASY TO HAVE MORE PEOPLE IN OUR SUPPORT REGARDING DOWRY PROBLM...N ONCE WE R TOGETHER,WE CAN GO TOGETHER AGAINST OTHER CURSES LIKE--HONOUR KILLINGS,,SUPERSTITIONS,,EGO...N OTHERS..
U JUST MOVE AHEAD BRO...WE R FOLLOWING U...
JAI HIND BRO.....
Hello Sir!!
ReplyDeleteReally appreciate your concern about our Gujjar community!!
But I would like to focus everyone’s mind that do we know why we are known differently to the others because we have culture, tradition and rite that haven’t changed yet. We never contradict the orders of our elders. We were not the educated in the past still we were known well better than now.
So I just wanna say that we need to change our self first. We always think that after wearing the clean clothes we look decent this is our thinking but we don’t know clothes can increase our personality but can’t clean our soul. That’s the reason why being illiterate we were completely moralized in the past.
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I have seen all the comments for ‘Communication Gap’ given by the people who belong to Gujjar community or not.
But I am agreed to this statement …
1. I have observed that when we give liberty to our children (of course to a deserving limit); our children become more sensible and sincere. They do not need to hide and lie to their parents.
But is not always fact because I been through the situation but still I do agree.
I am not wholly satisfied with this statement…….
2. A child who fears of being scolded and beaten by his parents, have all the possibilities of doing wrong. And on the contrary, a child who is friend to his parents will never go or do wrong for the fear of his loyalty, faith and sincerity towards his parents”
‘A child who fears of being scolded and beaten by his parents, have all the possibilities of doing wrong’. Because if we are really feared then these are the possibilities… either we have respect of our parents or scared of the cruel nature of our parents. And definitely in both of the cases a child will not commit the wrong every time. She/he might do the wrong but it doesn’t mean they will always go through the wrong way…
I apologize to all if my statement hurts you. But I can never follow the things which I do not agree.
I do think so.
Regards,
Jasbir Chandila
+65-82821602
Namastey Uncle Ji!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with u regarding communication gap between parents and their children in our community....... i dun know why dis gap is ?
In such circumstances it(healthy n friendly interaction between parents n children) is the demand of time ........... so dat both can understand each ohter's feelings , emotions, needs.....
it might be helpful for everyone........
MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF US!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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with regards
Uma Rani
Msc Biotechnology
IIT Roorkee
well as soon as i see dis POST A COMMENT thng...m pretty tensed cum xcited...cum hurt dat inspite of being indians ....havng sons like lord rama n arjuna...v r discusng thngs like dese ....parents ,wen their teenage children go wrong often ask themselves...atleast my mum do dat wat went wrong in d upbringing afterall...??? n v teenagers atleast me n m sure many oders like me r left wid dat guilt inside us of y v did it,,,,but den alwez end up doin d same thng again.... may dat b nt listening to dem or lyng at times ...but d truth is dat sumthng did go wrong sumwere....hamare ek teacher hain ram sir....unka kehna hai...k agar kahin kuch galat hota dikhe to samajh jana ki vahan k head me kami hai...shayad sach hai ya shayad sach nahi hai....???
ReplyDelete