What happened in village Wazirpur, Delhi and such similar cases in Haryana, U.P. & other parts of country..?? One Gurjar girl along with her husband and her friend (also gurjar) were murdered by girl's real brother & his friends, just because this girl married outside gurjar community. This triple murder involves three friends(all gurjars), two of them killing their real sisters.
I invite all of you to share your views on this topic.
Personally, I condemn this animal instinct. I am against killings. Be it honour killing..!! We have no right to kill anybody. If we do not approve our children marrying out side our community, Is murder only alternative? Are we human? Intercast marriage may be wrong for so many of us but Is it a sin to which murder is the only punishment? Who gave us the authority to decide someone else's fate? To take someone else's life? To destroy atleast two families?
Today, I was shocked to see in orkut, a member had posted the snaps of these three murderers and below the photo this member has commented," I am proud of these guys."
I think these three guys who did such a cheap & mean act of murdering their sisters and brother-in-law, have done this only to come in light,"गुंडागर्दी मे नाम करने के लिये" and not as honour killing.
How can a person who murders his real sister has an honour? If your son or brother marries a girl outside your cast, it is o.k. You forget this after a couple of months & accept the bride ('coz your son or brother will feed you) Why is it that all the honours are associated with girls relatives/brothers only?
There are so many questions. Please share your views here.
I completly agree with your views on that and i am also shoked to hear about that way.as a psychologist its a puzzle for my fertanity that after such a inhuman crime they dont feel and guilty.
ReplyDeletebut now it should be stop..
Dr.Ajeet
i also do agree with both of u........this is a effect of illiteracy in our community........so if v want 2 do progress firstly we should b literate & aware 2 our community ............
ReplyDeleteHi Bhaiyya!
ReplyDeleteSorry for being incommunicado. These past few days have been very hectic as I got my offer letter and have been busy in completing the joining formalities. Just saw your mail and thought of commenting lest I should come as arrogant and insensitive. I hope you understand my condition.
Well, to put it succinctly, I completely endorse your views on the aforementioned topic and strongly condemn the heinous acts our 'social-keepers' are engaged in carrying out. I'll properly word my thoughts (which are many... and boiling) once I get time and this time, will try to keep it simple and uncluttered coz it's important to connect to the visitors to be able to effectively communicate the message.
Till then, take care and keep up the good work.
Regards,
(i am writing everything in general, not specific to any person or individual)...
ReplyDeletePersonally, I do not accept "Same Gotra" and intercaste marriages....NOT AT ALL.....and in parallel I do not accept their reponse (either) "these three guys" have used....i..e. Kill Them. And thats too without letting them know (victims)......bahaane se kyun maara bhai (its totally inhuman)?...this is not gurjar's thinking or job...or is it? I am really hurt if it is. May be I need to go back to India and realize the facts again.... I was reading this article in HT today (online).......One of them said,,,,he feared that his sister might be used for some "unaccepted" trade...I was shocked...and any brother will be shocked.
BTW, when somebody passes comments in village or mohalla...he/she is just making joke of you......and I do no think if he/she is as loyal to the community as you are...if they were...then they should help gujjar families to come out of what their kids have done.....not like keep "taunting".... there is always a limit.
But again....I would also like and promote a simple fact within our gujjar families/community (girl or boy) to respect the "social values" and "family members"....a love of 6months (or whatver) can't be so strong that it can force you to go against your family. Remember your family "loves" you more than any other person in this world (gujjar or non-gujjar). And breaking somebody's faith can result in instances like the one happened in Delhi... (they lost their mind, or may be forced to lose their minds). They are not role model at all...but yes, they are a "case" now...(after all this)...and other people should learn from their act.
Again...no hard feelings.....after all its your life...and you make it good/bad with decisions you take.......apply a common sense and take every step forward with full care. Specially when you are young and can do a lot of good to you/yourfamilies/community/nation (instead of getting involved in such rubbish things).
Nitin
Not in favor of "killings" (against it)....
ReplyDeleteI am trying to understand the justification for this inhuman act by these Gurjar boys, and I could not see a single valid justification. Anyway, nothing against anybody's personal opinion.
We should/must take care of family feelings, and it applies to all family members. Let me take you on the other side of the wall:
(this = decision)
Do we follow this all our life?
Do we follow this all the time whenever there is a decision required? (big or small, finding the answer of a Math question in exam to decide whether the answer is correct or not, ...., finding a life partner, etc.etc.) If we rely on our elder's decisions, then it applies to our elders also. They should also ask their elders to make a decision for us...and their elders should ask their elders for the decision....on...and ...on....no end. Infact, I saw many people from Gujjar community who will get your boy/girl married to another girl/boy (gujjars) by telling you all "plus--plus--plus" about them....but after marriage the couple is not happy. There are even murders happened as the other family is absolute no match with this family....bad habbits,...,abusing..etc.etc. Or may be some other reason. Believe me there are many cases like this, and family regrets their decision. And more surprisingly, some time people say "bhagwaan" ki yahi marji thi. Disgusting.
I do believe that we must discuss our decisions with parents/elders when its important for your life. Or consult them before taking a decision. And in today's world, there are more criminals (bad people) than lovers (good people), discussing your points within family is a must. But finally, one should take his/her decision (if you are older than 18yrs, its your right, and every one should respect it..I mean the "right to decide"). Once you take a decision abide by that and prepare for consequences (good or bad).
Now, what about family?, if you do not agree with them, do not support their decision..and may consider them "out" . Let them learn the lessons in their life (if they are very much younger than you, don't forget they will take their own decision whenever we go away from this material world). Let them be strong enough to face the world without you.
Above all, your own brother/sisters are not "cheap" that you will kill them as "others" have some sort of "objection". If somebody has objection, keep the dialog side open and discuss more critical issues in Gujjar community and consider those "out" whoever is not respecting community/Indian culture.
Now Indian culture also does not allow one to kill somebody unless he/she attacks you hard enough that you will be dead. Isn't it? I think there is a big area of improvement for us (gujjjars and indians) to start talking to our kids about culture and good way of living life right from their childhood. Once they are "adult", I think they will be mature enough to understand the "+ve" and "-ve" side of life and the decisions they take.
Greetings
Nitin Singh Panwar
it's not only about the criminal act but also shows how outdated we are. This is the time to think positevely and wisely. If we won't change with the time and adopt modernity ; we would not survive, and ended as loser only.This is the time of urbanisation, where intercast marriage should be acceptable. If we still living in a village it's not practical and thus should be avoided.
ReplyDeleteI think we need to do a lot of introspection as a community on what we are, what we stand for and where we are headed. We should hold our hounor as a community but this killing is a case of misplaced honour. As one of my friends has put it, this is the time of urbanisation and we need to understand that the lifestyle, way of thinking and the pressures of a cosmopolitan city is entirely different than that of a village. We cannot apply the same yardstick to judge the decisions of a youngester living in a metro city to that of some one from an interior village. City life calls for more respect of peoples individuality.
ReplyDeleteAnd for those who may have a misplaced idea of this (killing) being a brave thing to do, let me say that it would have required more courage to respect and live with the girl's decision while disagreeing with it, than to do this barbarian act.
Interistingly, I do not see such honour killings when our sons marry outside community.
I think the real courage will be to let our daughters and sisters live with same freedom (dignity) that our sons enjoy.
I totally agree with Mr Nitin Singh Panwar.First duty of every INDIAN child is to take care about their family. Family makes them to come in contact with society . Only the family remains always ready to help thier children in every phase of their life. so children should discuss about the major decisions of their life atleast with their parents.
ReplyDeletenow i want to come to our community. Hardly 10 or 20% in gujjars are well educated , literated and open minded. Nearly 30 % are aware and want to make their children well educated and independent, still narrow minded. Their is majority of such population in our community who give more importance to their status and reputation in society and they don't want it to be destroyed, the only thing they expect ............. hamari society mein sabse badii baat jo h ... ki ghar ki izzat ladki k hath mein hoti h (WHAT ABOUT BOYS? DON'T HAVE ANY CONTRIBUTION TO IT?)
agar ek ladki ko uski family full freedom de rahi h den its her duty to think first about her family and must share everything with her parents(IT MUST BE A DUTY OF EVERY INDIAN GIRL ). AND THE SAME THING MUST BE APPLICABLE TO BOYS. ONE THING ALSO I MUST MENTION ,,,,,, AGAR GHAR WALE LADKI KO APNE BETE KI TARAH MANTE H TOH UNHE APNI BETI KE LIFE K DECISION MEIN BHI USKO HELP KARNI CHAHIYE N MUST RESPECT HER CHOICE!!!!!!! and the girl must take every decesoin in her life by keeping in mind about her family's views.
yeh soch tabhi aa sakti h jab puri community educated ho, coz education is the only solution to such problems.
Starting must be from all the gujjars who read this bolg and who are well educated , coz only such people can help in making others aware. I surely guarantee that out of the members of this community on orkut, hardly 10 % will allow their girls to marry in other caste , but they are right in their own.
it will take time for gujjars to grow up
Hope for the best!!!!!!!!!!
80% agreed and 20 not agreed,i dont know cultar and values stoopem me to support this but as a human i belive thats crual.thats not the topic to discuss abou boy and girl responsibility in society(sorry for those who quote this).
ReplyDeletei dont know support or crticised.
neeraj choudhary
I m also completely agree with your views
ReplyDeletethis is not a honour for any family or person to kill anybody without any big reason
all have rights to take decision his/her own life
all such type of killing or other such type of act done by our community peoples are result of illiteracy. Due to illiteracy our community is backward in every filed i.e. education, agriculture, job and business, because they have't any type of talent, they are totally illiterate. I think in other casts do inter caste marriage they also have honour in their community but they don't do such type of honour killing.
jai hind janab,,,...
ReplyDeletefirst of all a very gud evening to
u.......bro..i m fully agree n accept ur thoughts...after reading ur
blog n ur personal thoughts i hav no more words to add bro,,,but just
for sake of writing somthng m adding ma thoughts to ur blog....offcrse
m not a good thinker,but i really want to say somthng,which i feel i
shud tell u...if i say somthng really very hurtng plzzz let me know
dear....u r alwaz welcome ................ frst thng
is dat bro.....there is no point of killing people in d name of
honour killing.......some of our family members think that they hav
done a great job...but believe me bro...this is just a shame full
act....
Today we,gurjars,shouting that we r d best ....we r dis n
we r dat..............but u know bro....they have once again proved
dat we r still known for crime n killings........nobdy is interested
in ur matters....nor they want to disscuss ur problms.....
then y these people r doing dis????????????n if u really think
this is honour killing......can u plzz show me ny evidance wher honour
has been regained in this manner...........u can see history,,,,,,no
one has regained their lost honour in this way.......rather u made
more people to know abt this,,,,,,,hahaaaa.........this is clear bro
that this act was done just to make a small portion of community feel
honoured.
In our holy book SRIMADBHAGWAT GEETA.......lord says that
human life is d most precious form of life in dis universe...u must
make best
use of it...not 2 enjoy or kill,,,nor to lose honour nor 2 gain
honour........but to know d aim of human life.....NOW....both cannot b
right,,,,either lord is fool or our brothers who believe in honour
killing are fool............offcrse lord cannot b fool
bro.........so...i reqst our people to change their thinking..we hav
to move wid whole society not wid a community only......nway bro....a
grand salute to ur initiative........don worry...we r wid u...n i m
sure ...we will succeed in our mission,,,,,,,,its time to say bye
now.....write u again.....
jai hind bhai jaan.
Sheel bhai I've been following your blog & reading all comments with much interest. Yes, I do agree with you that these killing should be stopped. Or atleast we can stop encraging young gurjars for killings.
ReplyDeleteAnil Gurjar had very rightly said, that these caretakers of our society who support honour killing should provide a single evidence when their lost honour was regained after killings.
Sheel bhai you please keep writing. I don't know about anybody but you're an inspiration for me. You're doing a fine job. Please keep it up. Regards.